boy: Thanks Ms. Lauren for helping me color. Do you want to have a sleep over at my house tonight?
me: Sorry, I can't.
girl: She can't, she's too big to fit in those beds.
boy: Well my dad has a really big bed you could fit in.
me: (ew) I have to go home to my husband.
boy: You have a husband?!
girl: She has a husband, she's like 90.
I'm glad my kids think so highly of me.